I've been debating whether or not to speak out about this since it will just give more publicity to those who were trying to sensationalize to get ratings, but given that I write BDSM I felt I needed to voice my outrage on the subject. For those of you who don't know, the books Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, and Fifty Shades Freed written by E.L. James were highlighted in a segment on the Today Show Friday morning. Since Ms. James is also an author with TWCS, I tuned in. If you haven't seen the segment, click here.
The first part of the piece wasn't bad. It talked a little about the books, the author, and featured a Florida book club talking about how the books had swept them away. It centered around the graphic sex in the books, which is fairly well known considering they are listed as erotica. They also had a sex therapist, Laura Berman, to talk about how she wasn't surprised by the success of the book and that Dominance and submission fantasies are among the most popular.
What upset me, along with many others who write and/or live the BDSM lifestyle was what came next. The host was joined by Dr. Drew Pinske and Dr. Logan Levkoff. It should have been a tip off when the host began the conversation by saying, "it's explicit, graphic and parts of it are disturbing." What was disturbing about it you ask? Apparently the BDSM.
Dr. Levkoff, a sexologist and certified sexuality educator, quickly jumped in and said how she didn't view the books as disturbing at all. "i think it taps into a fantasy women have in terms of role playing, getting out of their comfort zone."
Of course there had to be a counter point to Dr. Levkoff's view and that came from Dr. Drew who said, "as laura berman said in the piece, the swept away fantasy is common, but it's going beyond that into actual violence against women." That's right. You are not misunderstanding. Dr. Drew, although beating around the bush a bit, says that BDSM equates to violence against women. He goes on to say that there is a lot of violence against children as well and that people who are abused as children can become aroused by these images.
Think I'm reading too much into his comments? Dr. Levkoff doesn't think so. She wrote a blog post herself over the weekend saying how blindsided she was by what was said by Dr. Drew saying, " What should have been a segment on women's fantasies and why they are an essential part of our lives...segued into a larger (and more inappropriate) discussion on violence against women." To read the entire blog post click here.
The bottom line, and the reason I decided to write this post was because I am quite frankly ashamed of Dr. Drew Pinske. He openly admitted to having not read the books, which in and of itself makes him lose credibility. However, dismissing an entire subculture is beyond disgraceful. Whether you are one of the many who have bought the Fifty Shades Trilogy or not, you should be offended by this man's comments. I know I for one will never look at him the same way again when he's brought on a show as an "expert".
I haven't read an of the 50 Shades series, but I have read other books with BDSM themes and believe there is a lot or respect, care and dedication that goes on between the characters.
ReplyDeleteMost of the time I sit back and read or watch comments posted by others, but I just wanted you to know you have my support.
Thank you Lynn. :)
ReplyDelete50 Shades...yeah, I'm not going to comment on the book itself, but as for Dr. Drews comments, they were very unprofessional. I think the whole show looked like it was hastily thrown together and I think the producers were trying to leech off the book's success. None of the experts were prepared and all they managed to do was piss off a lot of people.
ReplyDeleteOh, and promote the book a bit more. I suppose that's a good thing. If people are started to speak more openly about erotic romance and BDSM, perhaps some dialogue about how healthy and loving it can be will eventually come across. It would be nice if they included other novels written by authors with more experience in BDSM.
But that would take a properly executed show, IMO. Here's hoping!
Just another overly sensational talk show, of course. But at least it IS getting people talking about BDSM.
ReplyDeleteHow can it be violence against women when it's consented by both parts... So if a woman is the Dom in the relationship is it violence against men. Get real people Everything done in a play room is talked about and agreed upon long before they walk into that play room. Gee yes she was a virgin, but he had her look stuff up on the internet so they could talk about it and come to some agreements before they took it farther.
ReplyDeleteYou know where I stand on this issue and the whys.
Now hurry and get book 2 done I need more my friend.
lol. I'm working on it Karen. Right now it's out of my hands. I'm waiting on the next set of edits to come through and that will probably take a week or two. Everyone who has read Need so far loves it, so hopefully it will be worth the wait. :)
DeleteTotally agree with you. Dr Drew's comments were extremely prejudicial, inflammatory, and unprofessional. How Dare he make comment on a book HE HASN'T READ!!!
ReplyDeleteDr. Drew has lost all credibility to me now and I can no longer view him as a professional.
ReplyDeleteHe made comments and accusations about a topic he did not properly research or understand which has angered many people. I am shocked by what went down on that talk show, and like you Sherri, I too am ashamed of Dr. Drew and his uneducated remarks. He simply felt the need to reach for a sensationalized view of the book..which he should not have done considering he has no bloody idea what it was about in the first place.
I am a new follower here :)--
ReplyDeleteAnd I had to comment about this topic. I'm surprised that the Today show allowed Dr. Drew to speak out regarding this book-A BOOK HE HASN'T READ. How in the hell is that an expert opinion? It's obvious from their lack of research that the Today show presented a very biased interview, and that is just not right.
There are 3 words that keep repeating in my head when I read these untruths--SAFE,SANE, and CONSENTUAL. The men and women who are a part of the BDSM community are being slammed from these judgemental pricks and it really pisses me off.
I am not a member of this community--HOWEVER, I am an avid reader of this genre and I have never felt that the authors glorified violence towards women. You ladies rock! And you provide an outlet for women to feel safe and the confidence to speak up about our needs.
I had not heard of the Fifty Shades series until reading this blog. I didn't even know who Sherri Hayes was until last night when I read a sample of Slave (Finding Anna). I did read over the article which had to do with the Today show. What people don't know, or don't want to know, is that BDSM is just another form of Tantra. It's not always about sex, either. With that said, let me shed some light on myself. I didn't even know this was something that interested me until I read JR Ward's Lover Unbound. The way the characters Vishous and Jane find each other is very spiritual and memorable. From those books I started then to read Joey W. Hill. Her books opened up my mind and eyes further to other lifestyles and possibilities that one day I may be able to explore. At current this is not a lifestyle I am active in as I am single, but I would not rule it out if the right person came into my life either. It seems as though Dr. Drew is commenting on a lifestyle of which he has no knowledge or experience, let alone a willingness to learn. To say that BDSM is about violence toward women (or men) is the same as saying rape is about sex, or pyromania is about fire. But let's also take into consideration the source. Dr. Drew is a TV "doctor" and ranks right up with Dr. Phil. They have gone "hollywood" and will say what it needed to provoke ratings and perhaps his very own show one day. The moment they step into the realm of television to start "doctoring" the world they lose credibility in my eyes. To go on television to talk about a lifestyle and books he hasn't read is like going into battle without a well laid out plan. The people who will agree with him are people who don't think for themselves and are willing to be lead over that cliff. It is up to educated people like ourselves to lead the way and educate people about the truth of BDSM, what it is and what it isn't. Then and only then should a person make the decision as to whether or not it is a lifestyle for them.
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