This blog is dedicated to my Finding Anna series, and it's characters. I've developed it to be an interactive resource for my readers. Take a look around. Visit the playroom. Get to know each of the characters and even ask them questions. Above all...enjoy!

Monday, November 28, 2011

Mind Reader

This week I've come across a few posts and situations where I've begun to wonder if all subs think that Doms are mind readers. Do they really think that just because a Dom prefers to be in control of a given situation that they can reach into the recesses of a subs mind and know what it is that's bothering them? The funny thing is that I've heard men say this of women for years, but I'm finding that it doesn't matter the gender.

Let me give you some examples of what I've seen/encountered this past week. First a female sub who is upset because her Dom wasn't able to spend their scheduled time together because she has been having a bad month and needed him and their time. A male sub who gets upset when his Domme instructed him to stretch out his arm before starting work because it was hurting, but he had already done so without her knowledge. And the most jaw dropping one I read this week was from a sub who was questioning whether or not her Dom has raped her because he had had sex with her after a punishment and she wasn't into it nor did she want it, but she never used her safe word. From what I gathered from the post, she didn't even attempt to stop him in anyway.

In all three of these examples I am left with the perplexing question of why these three subs did not open their mouths and communicate with their Doms. Good Dom/mes want to know what's going through their subs heads. It helps them to not only understand, but also plan for other situations they both may encounter that this new information could effect. It may be as simple as staying in for the night rather than going out into a crowd or just the need for a long conversation so that everyone is on the same page with expectations. The worst thing a sub can do is not talk to their Dom about things that are bothering them. That means that even if they are in the middle of the scene and something isn't right, they use their safe words so that it can be addressed.

I'm not saying that Doms are always the best communicators because I've met a few that were horrible at it. But I will say that those Doms who truly do try to be good Doms at least make the attempt.

Have you had any experience in this, from either side? Have you seen it happen?

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